


It's Not What it Looks Like!

by awkward_taco056



Category: South Park
Genre: Humorous Ending, Inappropriate Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-21
Updated: 2017-06-21
Packaged: 2018-11-16 21:17:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11261172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awkward_taco056/pseuds/awkward_taco056
Summary: Sometimes you just walk in at the wrong time, and see things that fool your eye. Get your mind out the gutter and maybe what you witness isn't as bad as it seems. One-shot Low-key Kyman.





	It's Not What it Looks Like!

I swear it’s not what it looks like. It all started when Cartman and I were sitting in his room. He was sitting on this bench thing in his room, and I was on the floor, because the asshole didn’t offer me a seat. Typical… Anyway, we were eating doughnuts, because, well, we were hungry! Well, I was eating A doughnut. Lardass had eaten like, three.  
“You gonna stop anytime soon, fatass?” I asked, sitting cross-legged and nibbling on my snack. He glared at me and said “Fuck you, Jew. At least I’m not borderline anorexic”  
I felt my face flush, and just to prove I wasn’t a wimp, I took a big bite out of my doughnut. That’s when things started goin’ downhill. I hadn’t realized that this was one of those crème-filled doughnuts, and it got ALL OVER my face.  
Cartman, of course, started laughing his ass off. “NICE JOB KAHL!” he howled, doubling over in laughter.  
“I don’t see why you’re laughing so hard!” I shot back, humiliated. “You’re such a fatass your pants aren’t even fucking buttoned!”  
He paused, then looked down. Sure enough, his khakis were unbuttoned AND zipped all the way down, exposing his bright green underwear.  
Cartman shrugged it off. “Th-the were old, anyway…”  
I rolled my eyes, then lifted the doughnut back up to my mouth. I was about to eat some more when this FUCKER SMACKED IT OUT MY HAND.  
“GOD DAMMIT CARTMAN!!!” Now I had icing all over my face AND no doughnut. And worse of all, it had landed somewhere under his chair. FUCK. He continued to crack up, and I had no choice but to crawl under the chair and grab it. I wiggled under his chair, using his thigh to hold me up.  
“What the hell are you doing down there?!”, he yelled, jerking his leg away and causing me to damn near bust my face open.  
“Trying to find the doughnut before any pests do, fatass”, I said back, not without annoyance. I’d just come back up for air when it happened. Stan and Kenny walked in.  
“Hey dude I was jus-“ Stan stopped cold when he saw me kneeling on the ground , my face at level with Cartman’s crotch. At first, I didn’t understand why Stan looked so horrified and disgusted. Then it hit me like a freight train. My face between Cartman’s thighs. Icing all around my mouth. Eric’s fucking pants undone. Oh…. Shit….  
Apparently fatass had processed the awful looking scene too, because we both yelled at the same time “IT’S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE!”  
Stan, however, didn’t believe us. “If you need me,” he said while turning to walk out the room. “I’ll be taking the nope train to FuckThisVille. You can join me if you want, Kenny.”  
Kenny, being the overly-sexual eight grader he was, just grinned at us and said “Get some, Kyle.”  
“NO WAIT!” I cried out, desperate.                                                
“THAT’S JUST DONUT ICING ON HIS FACE!” Cartman yelled back at Kenny, who was walking out the room.  
“That’s what they ALLLL say. Come on, dude, Tammy used that excuse once. Don’t play me”, and with that, he stuffed his hands in his pockets and left.  
Kenny and Stan soon did believe our claims that it was just a doughnut all along (but not without a lot of begging and pleading). So what did we learn from this? Well, Kenny learned nothing, even though he’s convinced that Cartman and I are a thing. Stan learned to knock before he entered ANY room, and for at least two weeks after that… incident, Cartman and I made little to no physical contact with each other. And me? I haven’t eaten another crème-filled doughnut _since._


End file.
